Actor celebrates wife Damilola Adegbite

Chris Attoh and Damilola Adegbite-Attoh are so in love.
The “Tinsel” star took to Instagram on May 18, 2017, to celebrate his wife as she turns a year older.

Chris Attoh and Damilola Adegbite married in 2015 in Accra, Ghana

Happy Birthday Mama!!! @adedamee Today is your special day. May you be showered with health, wealth and prosperity throughout your life and may your special day and every day be full of love and joyful moments! Have a blast today with many more years ahead.”

Chris Attoh, Damilola Adegbeti Romance

This comes a day after Damilola gave him a lovely shout out on social media. Sharing her take on love and how it endures all, she shared the photo above writing,

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Happy birthday Nii.. I love you.

In a recent interview with Hitz FM, Attoh said that his wife “is wonderful,” and “she is currently in London. She just launched her Alpha Woman project,” which helps to empower women.

When asked about the separation rumours, he said, “I don’t hear them, I don’t read them. I’m too focused, I can’t be too bothered with all these… what is important is in front of me.”

Chris Attoh and Damilola Adegbite got hitched on February 14, 2015 in Accra, Ghana, and share a son, Brian Attoh.

Ask Black Rose: ‘I’m 8 Months Pregnant and My Husband Has Admitted to an Affair With an 18-Year-Old’

Ouch! What would you do?

Dear Black Rose,

I am currently eight months pregnant and my husband of nine years told me last week that he had an affair with an 18-year-old. He is 30. He said she could be pregnant because the condom fell off. We have a 6-year-old and an 8-year-old together. He came to me and told me he was sincerely sorry and he cried. He says he is hurt, broken and confused. I want to trust him and I told him I would. But, he is still talking to her through text messages. He said he couldn’t just drop her in case she is pregnant. He wants to stay with me for the kids right now and until the baby comes. He still hugs me and kisses me and tells me he loves me. If she isn’t pregnant, he said it will end. I told him he has no obligation to her even if she is pregnant—only to take care of the baby, if it is even his. I am so lost and so broken. Any advice?

Signed,
Anonymous

Dear Sis,

Being eight months pregnant and finding out that not only has your husband had an affair, but that the other woman may be pregnant too, is definitely overwhelming. That is enough to truly leave you broken and lost. Regardless of how you are feeling at this time, you must pick up the pieces and find your way. Your husband is playing you big time. The other woman is either pregnant or not pregnant. It does not take a rocket scientist to find out if she is pregnant. It only takes a $20 pregnancy test from the drug store. It is highly likely that she is indeed pregnant and your husband knows this. Otherwise, he would not be telling you about her and how she may have become pregnant.  It is interesting that he is the one crying and feeling ” hurt, broken, and confused”. Really? You are the one he is married to who is pregnant and being cheated on. So, are you supposed to feel sorry for him? I am sure he is sorry but only sorry that he is caught. Your husband made some choices and now he is trying to figure out how he can hold on to you and her too. The fact that he is still texting and involved with her tells me this was not a one-night fling. The audacity of him to say that he can’t “drop her” or that he wants to stay with you for the kids and until the baby is born. Really? What happens after the baby is born? There was not one time that you indicated that he stated that he wants to stay because he wants you or his marriage. You have some tough emotional decisions to make but you do not have to make them right now. You must separate your husband’s  issues from your issues. It is a stressful time for many reasons and you want to avoid putting your pregnancy at risk. I recommend that you seek individual psychotherapy to work through issues. This would provide a support system as you deal with stressors. The issues are serious but not hopeless. —  Black Rose

Ask Black Rose: ‘My Husband Left Our Family For His Mexican Mistress’

She thought she did everything to fulfill his wildest fantasies but as it turns out, he carried on a seven year affair. Black Rose dishes out some advice.

My husband of 16 years has had a seven year affair and fathered a 4-year-old son. This affair is with a Mexican co-worker at a pawn shop! She is still married (separated for seven years) to an illegal immigrant and has three children with her husband.  Also, her husband’s mother lives with her and is also an illegal immigrant. This woman has been in my home and to events that included her husband and children along with my husband and children. We have one biological son together.  However, he has raised my 20-year-old son since the age of 4 and my 26-year-old daughter since the age of 9. I had no idea of his affair because my husband was home every night before 10 p.m.  I am a master educator with multiple degrees and credentials, which I was pursuing when we met. This is what attracted him to me, but he now uses it against me! My father truly loved my husband and the two bonded so well before he sadly passed away. Other family members love my husband because of the love he showed me and my children who he raised as his own. The children and I treated my husband like the king that he is and I fulfilled every fantasy as his wife, so I thought, behind closed doors. I drank, smoked, and had a threesome for him!  He stated that when I stopped drinking, I was no longer fun sexually! This really hurts my heart and the feelings I have towards my husband. He stills pays the rent and various other bills because he knows my salary is limited due to student loans, but he won’t come home–he does not even call unless it has something to do with money.  He has traded us off for his new family. What should I do? 

Sincerely,
Caught-off guard

Caught off guard? Really? Your husband had an affair for SEVEN years not seven months…..SEVEN years!  Are you really saying that you had no clue that your husband was having an affair and had a four year old child during those seven years. If that is indeed the case, your husband must be the best cheater ever or you have to be totally blind to the truth. Either way, it says a lot about your marriage and your ability to communicate. Unfortunately, your husband checked out of the marriage years ago. His cheating had nothing to do with the other women being a Mexican or being legal or illegal. It also has nothing to do with how much he did for your children or how much others liked him. It also did not matter how much you drank or smoked or how many threesomes you had with him. He made a choice to cheat and to have an affair and a child with another woman. That was his choice. Now you have a choice. You can continue to be stuck hoping he will return or you can pick up the pieces of your life and move on. It is obvious that your husband has moved on with his life. He is legally married but emotionally divorced. In the mean time, you remain both legally and emotionally married. You must ask yourself why you are holding on to the marriage when he is long gone. Given his long time affair, his child by his mistress, and how he continues to treat you, do you think he will return or more importantly why would you want him to? You may still be in love with him but he has shown you no love by his behaviors. I recommend that you seek individual therapy to address issues and prepare to deal with the reality of what has happened. You must learn to let go before you can move beyond where you are. –Black Rose

Ask Black Rose: ‘I Think My Ex’s 9-Year-Old Daughter Is Mine, Should I Ask For A Paternity Test?’

He thinks his ex-girlfriend lied about him being her child’s father out of spite but his heart can’t shake that he is really her daughter’s dad. Will Black Rose’ advice help him identify his intentions?

Dear Black Rose,
I had a girlfriend for about 3 years, then in 2006 she called me and told me she was pregnant. I asked her if the baby was mine and she said no. Lately I’ve been thinking that I shouldn’t have asked her and perhaps the reason she said no was because she felt insulted by my question. It’s been 9 years and I can’t shake the feeling that her daughter who was born approximately 9 months after the last time we were together, might really be mine. She seems to look like me. My ex is now married to a guy who isn’t her daughter’s biological father. Should I find out if I am indeed the father or would it be best if I just leave it be. She hasn’t said anything about her daughter being mine but I would like to know for my own peace of mind. I don’t want to cause any problems especially since we’re still friends. What should I do?

Signed,
Confused for too long

Hey there sir,
You and your possible daughter deserve to know the truth. After 9 years, I have to ask “why now”?  Be honest and check your motives in wanting to know about the paternity. Is it because the mother of the child has married and moved on with her life? Is it because another man may be raising a child who is possibly your daughter?  Or, are you genuinely interested in stepping up to the plate and being an active father? I would like to think the later. This is a serious life changing endeavor not only for you but for the child, her mother and her step-father. There are a lot of lives to disrupt if your heart and intent are not pure. If you decide to open this closed door of 9 years, will it add to or take away from the child’s life? Are you prepared or willing to take on the emotional and financial role of possibly being a father? If you find that she is your child, she may or may not accept you as her biological father. You must be emotionally prepared for possible rejection. You must also consider how her mother may respond to you after such a long time. She is highly unlikely to welcome the idea with open arms. Her primary role is going to be to protect her child at all costs. If she views your inquiry as a major disruption to everyone’s life and thinks that you will be gone for another 9 years or more after you find out, she is likely to be very angry and block your efforts on every level. Once again, I definitely believe that you and everyone involved should know the truth. But the truth needs to be discovered without bringing a lot of unnecessary attention until the results are confirmed. If you are ready to find out if you are truly her biological father, you may have to get an attorney involved if you run into resistance. Remember that any male can be a sperm donor and produce a baby but it takes a real man to become a lifetime father. It is always great to see a man take the role of a father seriously!  –Black Rose

Email us your questions to Black Rose now at blackrose@blackrosegossip.com  and be sure to include “Ask Black Rose” in the subject line.

Ask Black Rose: ‘I Want My Ex Husband Back, But I Have Herpes Now and He Doesn’t Want Me’

After thinking she was unhappy in her marriage and filing for divorce, this woman contracted an incurable STD and disclosed the news to her ex. His rejection has devastated her, so now what? Black Rose weighs in.

Dear Black Rose,

I was married for 19 years and after thinking I was unhappy with our relationship I made the decision to divorce my husband. Soon thereafter, I started seeing a man in a different state. It was a long distance relationship which was fine because I still had my own life and remained cordial with my ex. I ended up getting engaged and made plans to move out of state to be with my fiancé. Sadly, I called off the engagement and soon after my ex decided to ask me out on a date! I accepted and had a great time until it came to sex. I had contracted Herpes Simplex Virus 2 (HSV2) between the time we divorced and our reconciliation. When I told my ex about my diagnosis, he was blown away by the news, which was complete blow to my confidence and affected my self-esteem. Since then, my ex has been dating a very young girl who is 20 years younger than I am and just a few years older than my oldest child. My ex and his girlfriend have been together for about a year now and while we were once cordial post-divorce and my diagnosis disclosure, we don’t talk anymore whatsoever. I ended up moving out of state to marry the man I was once engaged to, however, I am not happy and I want my ex back. I’m sad because I have so many fond memories from not only our marriage but our friendship too. If only I had realized this when I thought divorcing the love of my life was the cure to helping my unhappiness. Any advice?

Hey Sis,

Your current marriage appears to be a consolation prize that you settled for after being rejected by you r ex-husband. It is almost impossible to find happiness in your current marriage living in the past. You may be legally divorced from your ex but you have remained emotionally married. The question becomes “Why?” Your ex appears to be both legally and emotionally divorced from you. Given that you continue to hold on to hopes and dreams of getting back with him, you have given him a lot of power over you. This is unfortunate because you have tied your happiness and sense of self worth to his acceptance of you. His being “blown away” with you having  is likely to be related to him wanting to have sex but this put a halt to that. There was no concern for your health or the possibility of rekindling a relationship. He seemed to have used your HSV2 status as a permanent exit excuse. You must remember that there was a reason you divorced him in the first place. It is time to determine what you really want in a relationship. Happiness starts with you and is your responsibility. A man or a marriage can not ” make” you happy. You must find happiness within yourself. I recommend that you seek individual therapy to help understand why you remain emotionally married to someone who is not available to you in any way. This will also give you a chance to discover who you are. Your value should not be determined by your ex or anyone else. –Black Rose

Email us your questions to Black Rose now at blackrose@blackrosegossip.com  and be sure to include “Ask Black Rose” in the subject line.

4 Ideas On Honeymoon Destinations In Nigeria

To help newlyweds make the decision of where to go on their honeymoon this season, Here are 4 ideas on honeymoon destinations in Nigeria, that are not only affordable but are exotic and romantic enough to guarantee you a memorable experience.

LE MERIDIEN IBOM HOTEL AND GOLF RESORTS, AKWA IBOM
Le Meridien Ibom Hotel and Golf Resorts offers the ultimate leisure experience to honeymooners. Located in the capital of the gleaming Akwa Ibom state, the resort is a dream to explore, situated amidst rich palm forest vegetation with a lush 18-hole golf course for sport lovers and spectators to enjoy. For those of you getting married this Valentine season, the hotel is offering a special Valentine package that you can take advantage of.

RADDISSON BLU ANCHORAGE HOTEL
This spot echoes class and elegance. It has a lot to offer newlyweds who decide on the hotel as a honeymoon destination. With 100% guest satisfaction guaranteed, alongside high-quality services, 24/7 concierge services, and fitness and wellness services unlike any other, the hotel is one the best destinations you can think of for a honeymoon in Nigeria. It’s really something to explore, though a little pricy, but entirely worth the expense.

KAMP IKARE, LAGOS
Get ready to experience adventure and romance like you’ve never experienced in this popular honeymoon resort. Newlyweds can spend time in this beautiful destination relaxing in the resort’s Miami-style lounge, enjoying the warm heat of the sun, and the fun, laughter and activity around. It’s an affordable getaway for newly married lovebirds, a sort of ‘home away from home’ with delicious local cuisines and exciting facilities to enjoy alongside.

OBUDU MOUNTAIN RESORT, CROSS RIVER
The Obudu Mountain Resort is another popular retreat in Nigeria, affordable with a beautiful countryside view, well-equipped, relaxing and sure to offer you a unique and memorable experience. The resort is situated in Cross Rivers state (The People’s Paradise) in the town of Obudu. The resort is a paradise that not only offers you and your partner fitness and wellness facilities to maintain health and wellness while relaxing, but also romantic leisure activities like horse riding, helicopter field views and village walks. There is also something for sport loving couples in form of a lawn tennis court, a football pitch, basketball court and an adventure park. It really is paradisiacal beauty, and a honeymoon destination to explore this season.

Hausa love stories: 6 things to know before dating a girl from Kano

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Love is unpredictable. You can find love anywhere even in the northern city of Kano where pretty Hausa speaking girls popularly referred to as Yarinyan strut the streets in beautiful regalia.

If you are in Kano and also fancy dating a Hausa lady, you cannot just approach her and spill out some romantic lines and expect her to fall head over – this is not Lagos where such effrontery can be overlooked. This is why Jumia Travel, Africa’s No 1 hotel booking portal shares 5 things you should know before dating a Hausa girl.

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Your chances may be limited if you don’t speak Hausa language
Even if you speak Queen’s English and cannot communicate in Hausa, your chances may be limited. Being able to speak Hausa means that you have successfully maneuvered the first hurdle. With this, you will easily break the ice and she will definitely give you attention. This is not saying English won’t work. But speaking Hausa is a perfect bait!

Being  Muslim puts you in a vantage position
Besides speaking Hausa, religion is another key asset northerners consider important. Because Islam is the predominant religion in Kano and by extension other parts of the Northern Nigeria, most ladies expect their men to observe this same mode of worship. Even if the lady accepts your proposal, her parents may not. It is better not to voyage into a relationship if you cannot agree on religion. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try your luck!

Better to have a friend signal your interest in her first
Kano is a conservative state, just like the people. To be on a safe side, it is better to send an intermediary to convey your love message to the lady you have been admiring. You should send a trusted friend who can communicate in Hausa. It is easier and safe.

They like to keep relationships secret and quiet  
Islam dictates the way of life in the largely Muslim North. Public display of affection, with men and women mingling is unacceptable. If you really want to enjoy dating a Hausa lady, you should keep the relationship out of the public eye.

You have to accept their dress culture  
More often than not, you have the Hausa girl draped with an Islamic veil. As you know, the veil doesn’t show body curves or sensitive parts of the body. If you cannot accept this, you should stay in your lane.

They will commit if you are serious
If you meet any of the aforementioned criteria, and you are serious, she will commit to you with all pleasure. Notwithstanding, this should not discourage you from going after her because love is unpredictable and blind. You don’t know where you  could find it. It may be a cute Hausa girl!

5 fascinating things Nigerian women expect from their spouses

 

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Women are emotional beings. They react either positively or negatively to the theatrics and behaviours of their partners in a manner which can make or mar the relationship. It is thereby important for men to be conscious of their actions whenever a lady they consider important decides to spend a fair amount of time on any journey. So, whether you are visiting the Olumo Rock in Abeokuta, Ogun State or the Epe Resort in Lagos, Jumia Travel, Africa’s No.1 Hotel Booking Portal points you to five fascinating things Nigerian women expects from their partner whenever they travel. Men, please take note!


Arrive at the agreed time
Some men are perennial late comers. Women can be forgiven for their lateness for a travel date because of their overwhelming attempt to look good, but for a man…its not a sign of respect. Besides, leaving early for any trip is safer and you can catch a much fun as possible with her as you want.

Bankroll the whole trip
When you are on a trip with a Nigerian woman, you will have to settle all the bills. This is because only a handful of women will volunteer to pay. This said, a man’s ego will always come to play which oftentimes than not compels him to settle the bills. However, there are other men  who don’t care about this, after all women in the civilized world are happy to pay the bills. Why can’t a Nigerian woman do the same?

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Never stare at other women
Some men are addicted to staring at other women, even when with their partners. They make it so obvious that she has to playfully pull gimmicks to shift their attention.  This may also apply to women and it can be very annoying. Men should make their partners their mirror throughout the trip.

Abandon her
Don’t be surprised some men can actually abandon their lover at a hotel or restaurant and saunter somewhere else without informing her. You assume that when she is done she will call. She will be embarrassed and infuriated when she eventually returns from your ‘aimless’ sojourn.

Show affection
Like previously said women are emotional beings and they love to be pampered.  Not helping this is the perception that some Nigerian men are not romantic. Planning a trip with your partner should actually be an opportunity for you to show your romantic prowess! And it has nothing to do with sex.

5 Things To Do Whenever You Travel With Your Lover

You have been planning this weekend getaway with your lover in Calabar for months. You have made it a secret because you want to achieve the wow effect. However, don’t be surprised if she doesn’t give you the ‘awwwwwwww’  especially if it is a surprise. But wait a second, do you really want to create a big impression on her and get the desired response? If yes, Jumia Travel gathers 5 things you should always do when you want to travel with your spouse or lover.

Speak about money
Money can make or mar any relationship whether you are traveling or not. So, before you start any travel plans, both of you should talk about your finances. This is because people don’t have similar budgets. This is essential because Nigeria is presently in a recession and you don’t want to spend money indiscriminately.

Plan the trip together
For a smooth and exciting trip to any Nigerian destination of your choice, you should always plan the trip together. This is because one of you may be unhappy with the decision your lover makes on your behalf. Planning the trip can also effectively help check expectations.

Communicate
Any relationship boils down to communication. Telling your partner what you want before, during and after the trip can help you avoid any disagreement. If one of you is spending outside the budget, you should be able to caution them.

Everything can’t be perfect
Nothing is perfect because unforeseen incidences happen when traveling. This is because you cannot avoid stressful situations. The way both of you react to them may ruin your trip or enjoy it. So, you should be able to accommodate these frustrations.

Don’t Explore alone
Imagine when you wake up and you didn’t find your partner. Where is he? You later find a note that he has gone to explore alone without informing you. You will be infuriated for leaving you at the transcorp hotel in Calabar without waking you. It is better for both of you to explore together.

4 Red Flags To Watch Out For In A Relationship

When a relationship is doing more harm to you than good, it’s time to quit it. Here are 4 signs to help you determine when a relationship is doing more harm to you than good.

ABUSE
Be it physical or emotional abuse, any type of abuse is a glaring sign that you should quit the relationship. Please don’t be lenient with abuse or make excuses for it; simply let go and move on because abuse is one of the clearest ways to communicate a lack of care, love and respect for someone. Abuse does not go hand in hand with love, if anything they are polar opposites.
Although, one thing to note here is that emotional abuse is more relative than physical abuse. For instance, there is arguably a degree of emotional abuse in every relationship. When you try to control your partner or influence them emotionally to act or behave in a certain way, by ignoring them (ignoring their calls, messages etc), refusing to talk to them (the silent treatment), being provocative with the other sex (trying to make them jealous) and so on, to a degree that’s emotional abuse. These are all elements of emotional abuse that are born from the very fair fact that we are human. But when emotional abuse becomes dangerous, is when you begin to lose your confidence and live in fear of what your partner is going to do to you next emotionally.

LIES
If anyone you are in a relationship with, be it a romantic relationship or a friendship, constantly lies to you or finds it difficult to tell you the truth, it communicates a lack of trust and a lack of respect for you. If you can’t trust the person(s) you are in a relationship with, things remain unsettled. Such lack of trust can lead to paranoia (an intense feeling of anxiety, fear and unrest) for you, which is very unhealthy. Without trust, there is no point remaining in the relationship and continuing to torture yourself emotionally.

THEY NEVER ADMIT THEIR FAULTS
This is one thing most people ignore as a red flag in a relationship, probably because they don’t understand just how important it is.
When someone finds it difficult to admit they are wrong, the next thing they do is pass the blame. Now when you are constantly at the receiving end of the blame, even if you are fine with constantly saying you are sorry, you allow what is called a “cognitive dissonance” to be formed in your mind. This means that as you continuously act in a way that contradicts your beliefs, eventually your beliefs will change to align with your actions. In other words, after a while you will begin to believe you are the one who is always wrong and start to doubt your ability to perceive what’s right and wrong. Eventually, it ends up affecting your ability to make decisions and be assertive as an individual, and you end up constantly feeling confused, having lost confidence in yourself and abilities. It’s truly a terrible place to be, so please don’t let any relationship take you there.

CONSTANT FEELING OF BEING OVERWHELMED
When you constantly feel overwhelmed by your relationship, almost like you can’t get a break; when you look back and can’t remember any significantly joyful memory in your relationship, you should acknowledge that it is abnormal.
As much as a relationship can at times bring you sadness, it should also bring you joy. If all you can remember when you think back on you relationship, is a long thick dark tiring stretch of fights, pain and sadness, with little or no joy, that’s not appropriate. Relationships may not generally be very easy but they should not suck the life out of you, leaving you miserable and unhappy.