Hausa love stories: 6 things to know before dating a girl from Kano

hausa love stories - zahra buhari

Love is unpredictable. You can find love anywhere even in the northern city of Kano where pretty Hausa speaking girls popularly referred to as Yarinyan strut the streets in beautiful regalia.

If you are in Kano and also fancy dating a Hausa lady, you cannot just approach her and spill out some romantic lines and expect her to fall head over – this is not Lagos where such effrontery can be overlooked. This is why Jumia Travel, Africa’s No 1 hotel booking portal shares 5 things you should know before dating a Hausa girl.

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Your chances may be limited if you don’t speak Hausa language
Even if you speak Queen’s English and cannot communicate in Hausa, your chances may be limited. Being able to speak Hausa means that you have successfully maneuvered the first hurdle. With this, you will easily break the ice and she will definitely give you attention. This is not saying English won’t work. But speaking Hausa is a perfect bait!

Being  Muslim puts you in a vantage position
Besides speaking Hausa, religion is another key asset northerners consider important. Because Islam is the predominant religion in Kano and by extension other parts of the Northern Nigeria, most ladies expect their men to observe this same mode of worship. Even if the lady accepts your proposal, her parents may not. It is better not to voyage into a relationship if you cannot agree on religion. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try your luck!

Better to have a friend signal your interest in her first
Kano is a conservative state, just like the people. To be on a safe side, it is better to send an intermediary to convey your love message to the lady you have been admiring. You should send a trusted friend who can communicate in Hausa. It is easier and safe.

They like to keep relationships secret and quiet  
Islam dictates the way of life in the largely Muslim North. Public display of affection, with men and women mingling is unacceptable. If you really want to enjoy dating a Hausa lady, you should keep the relationship out of the public eye.

You have to accept their dress culture  
More often than not, you have the Hausa girl draped with an Islamic veil. As you know, the veil doesn’t show body curves or sensitive parts of the body. If you cannot accept this, you should stay in your lane.

They will commit if you are serious
If you meet any of the aforementioned criteria, and you are serious, she will commit to you with all pleasure. Notwithstanding, this should not discourage you from going after her because love is unpredictable and blind. You don’t know where you  could find it. It may be a cute Hausa girl!

5 fascinating things Nigerian women expect from their spouses

 

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Women are emotional beings. They react either positively or negatively to the theatrics and behaviours of their partners in a manner which can make or mar the relationship. It is thereby important for men to be conscious of their actions whenever a lady they consider important decides to spend a fair amount of time on any journey. So, whether you are visiting the Olumo Rock in Abeokuta, Ogun State or the Epe Resort in Lagos, Jumia Travel, Africa’s No.1 Hotel Booking Portal points you to five fascinating things Nigerian women expects from their partner whenever they travel. Men, please take note!


Arrive at the agreed time
Some men are perennial late comers. Women can be forgiven for their lateness for a travel date because of their overwhelming attempt to look good, but for a man…its not a sign of respect. Besides, leaving early for any trip is safer and you can catch a much fun as possible with her as you want.

Bankroll the whole trip
When you are on a trip with a Nigerian woman, you will have to settle all the bills. This is because only a handful of women will volunteer to pay. This said, a man’s ego will always come to play which oftentimes than not compels him to settle the bills. However, there are other men  who don’t care about this, after all women in the civilized world are happy to pay the bills. Why can’t a Nigerian woman do the same?

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Never stare at other women
Some men are addicted to staring at other women, even when with their partners. They make it so obvious that she has to playfully pull gimmicks to shift their attention.  This may also apply to women and it can be very annoying. Men should make their partners their mirror throughout the trip.

Abandon her
Don’t be surprised some men can actually abandon their lover at a hotel or restaurant and saunter somewhere else without informing her. You assume that when she is done she will call. She will be embarrassed and infuriated when she eventually returns from your ‘aimless’ sojourn.

Show affection
Like previously said women are emotional beings and they love to be pampered.  Not helping this is the perception that some Nigerian men are not romantic. Planning a trip with your partner should actually be an opportunity for you to show your romantic prowess! And it has nothing to do with sex.

5 Things To Do Whenever You Travel With Your Lover

You have been planning this weekend getaway with your lover in Calabar for months. You have made it a secret because you want to achieve the wow effect. However, don’t be surprised if she doesn’t give you the ‘awwwwwwww’  especially if it is a surprise. But wait a second, do you really want to create a big impression on her and get the desired response? If yes, Jumia Travel gathers 5 things you should always do when you want to travel with your spouse or lover.

Speak about money
Money can make or mar any relationship whether you are traveling or not. So, before you start any travel plans, both of you should talk about your finances. This is because people don’t have similar budgets. This is essential because Nigeria is presently in a recession and you don’t want to spend money indiscriminately.

Plan the trip together
For a smooth and exciting trip to any Nigerian destination of your choice, you should always plan the trip together. This is because one of you may be unhappy with the decision your lover makes on your behalf. Planning the trip can also effectively help check expectations.

Communicate
Any relationship boils down to communication. Telling your partner what you want before, during and after the trip can help you avoid any disagreement. If one of you is spending outside the budget, you should be able to caution them.

Everything can’t be perfect
Nothing is perfect because unforeseen incidences happen when traveling. This is because you cannot avoid stressful situations. The way both of you react to them may ruin your trip or enjoy it. So, you should be able to accommodate these frustrations.

Don’t Explore alone
Imagine when you wake up and you didn’t find your partner. Where is he? You later find a note that he has gone to explore alone without informing you. You will be infuriated for leaving you at the transcorp hotel in Calabar without waking you. It is better for both of you to explore together.

4 Red Flags To Watch Out For In A Relationship

When a relationship is doing more harm to you than good, it’s time to quit it. Here are 4 signs to help you determine when a relationship is doing more harm to you than good.

ABUSE
Be it physical or emotional abuse, any type of abuse is a glaring sign that you should quit the relationship. Please don’t be lenient with abuse or make excuses for it; simply let go and move on because abuse is one of the clearest ways to communicate a lack of care, love and respect for someone. Abuse does not go hand in hand with love, if anything they are polar opposites.
Although, one thing to note here is that emotional abuse is more relative than physical abuse. For instance, there is arguably a degree of emotional abuse in every relationship. When you try to control your partner or influence them emotionally to act or behave in a certain way, by ignoring them (ignoring their calls, messages etc), refusing to talk to them (the silent treatment), being provocative with the other sex (trying to make them jealous) and so on, to a degree that’s emotional abuse. These are all elements of emotional abuse that are born from the very fair fact that we are human. But when emotional abuse becomes dangerous, is when you begin to lose your confidence and live in fear of what your partner is going to do to you next emotionally.

LIES
If anyone you are in a relationship with, be it a romantic relationship or a friendship, constantly lies to you or finds it difficult to tell you the truth, it communicates a lack of trust and a lack of respect for you. If you can’t trust the person(s) you are in a relationship with, things remain unsettled. Such lack of trust can lead to paranoia (an intense feeling of anxiety, fear and unrest) for you, which is very unhealthy. Without trust, there is no point remaining in the relationship and continuing to torture yourself emotionally.

THEY NEVER ADMIT THEIR FAULTS
This is one thing most people ignore as a red flag in a relationship, probably because they don’t understand just how important it is.
When someone finds it difficult to admit they are wrong, the next thing they do is pass the blame. Now when you are constantly at the receiving end of the blame, even if you are fine with constantly saying you are sorry, you allow what is called a “cognitive dissonance” to be formed in your mind. This means that as you continuously act in a way that contradicts your beliefs, eventually your beliefs will change to align with your actions. In other words, after a while you will begin to believe you are the one who is always wrong and start to doubt your ability to perceive what’s right and wrong. Eventually, it ends up affecting your ability to make decisions and be assertive as an individual, and you end up constantly feeling confused, having lost confidence in yourself and abilities. It’s truly a terrible place to be, so please don’t let any relationship take you there.

CONSTANT FEELING OF BEING OVERWHELMED
When you constantly feel overwhelmed by your relationship, almost like you can’t get a break; when you look back and can’t remember any significantly joyful memory in your relationship, you should acknowledge that it is abnormal.
As much as a relationship can at times bring you sadness, it should also bring you joy. If all you can remember when you think back on you relationship, is a long thick dark tiring stretch of fights, pain and sadness, with little or no joy, that’s not appropriate. Relationships may not generally be very easy but they should not suck the life out of you, leaving you miserable and unhappy.

Top 5 Inexpensive Hotels To Lodge With Your Spouse on Val’s Day

It is not every day you get amazing and discounted deals on hotels. But as Valentine’s Day beckons, many hotels have dropped their prices because they want couples to have an unforgettable, romantic and remarkable celebration of love. At these hotels, you can have a candlelit dinner with your spouse as well as lodge. Do you want to know these hotels? We identify some of them. But remember, you can conveniently book these discounted hotels on Jumia Travel. You can get as much as 50% off.

De’Renaissance Hotel
De Renaissance Hotel is located along Obafemi Awolowo Way, Ikeja. The elegant and glamorous hotel in Lagos is about 15 minutes from the Murtala Muhammed International Airport. The hotel features cozy rooms fitted with air-conditioner, ornate lampshades, TV with satellite reception, worktable, `and chair, separate sitting area with sofas and en-suite bathroom. De Renaissance Hotel is just beside Ikeja City Mall. It is a 15-minute drive from the Airport.

Morning Sides Suites
Morning Side Suites is an ultra-modern hotel located in the upmarket neighbourhood of Victoria Island, Lagos. The 4-Star hotel boasts an events center, outdoor pool, and elevator for a much convenient movement. Free WiFi is available. The hotel features a conference and banquet facility with a capacity to seat 50 persons. Airport shuttle services are also available at a surcharge. Morning Side Suites is a 5-minute drive away from Silverbird Galleria and Bar Beach.

Southern Sun Ikoyi
Southern Sun Hotel Ikoyi is situated at 47, Alfred Rewane Road, in the highbrow Ikoyi area of Lagos. The hotel in Lagos boasts of 195 beautifully furnished en-suite rooms and free WiFi is provided for guests. Being on the top hotels in Ikoyi, Lagos, Southern Sun Hotel offers a 4-star luxury with rooms that gives a pleasant stay. The on-site restaurant at Southern Sun Ikoyi Lagos offers full board meals from a variety of local and continental menus. Guests can enjoy cocktails, wines, and beverages at the bar and lounge area.

The Avenue Suites
The Avenue Suites is situated in Victoria Island, Lagos. The hotel boasts a swimming pool and a well-equipped gym. Complimentary WiFi internet access is provided for all guests. All rooms at the Avenue Suites Lagos are fully air-conditioned, fitted with en-suite bathrooms and wardrobes. The on-site restaurant that boasts views of the surrounding skyline serves local and continental meal options and complimentary breakfast is provided daily. The Avenue Suites Lagos is 5 km away from Palms Mall, Lekki, in close proximity to the Bar Beach and Eko Hotel.

Villa Angelia
The Villa Angelia is located in Ikoyi, Lagos. The villa features an event center, a swimming pool, and a gym. Meals are provided through an onsite restaurant which serves breakfast, lunch, and dinner. The hotel offers a bike rental service for outdoor activities and local sightseeing. A fitness room, a swimming pool, and a gym are also available at the hotel. Villa Angelia Ikoyi is a walking distance from Awolowo Road and Sweet Sensation Confectionery. Reeds Restaurant and Bar is a 3-minute walk from the hotel.

Will Staying Tight Down There Help My Sex Life?

Health’s medical editor explains what you should know about strengthening the muscles in your pelvic floor.

It can, but there’s a lot of confusion about what “staying tight down there” really means. When it comes to sex, it’s the pelvic floor muscles surrounding the vagina that are key—more so than the muscles inside the vagina itself. During orgasm, your pelvic floor muscles contract; so the stronger your pelvic muscles are, and the better you are at engaging them during intercourse, the more intense your orgasm should be. Having strong pelvic floor muscles may also improve blood circulation to the vagina and can increase your sexual arousal.

Childbirth can fatigue or injure the pelvic floor muscles. Straining when you make a bowel movement or doing lower-body exercises with heavy weights and poor form can weaken these muscles, too.

If you care about powering up your O, there are a few ways to “tone” the correct muscles. The easiest is to do Kegel exercises, which involve contracting and releasing the pelvic floor muscles. First you have to make sure you’re engaging the right muscles. When you go to the bathroom, try to stop urinating midstream. If you succeed, you’ve found the pelvic floor muscles. To do Kegels, tighten these muscles and hold the contraction for 5 to 10 seconds, then relax for an equal amount of time. Aim for three sets of 10 repetitions a day.

Another option: Ask you gynecologist about special pelvic-toning devices that you can insert into the vagina; they help you practice Kegels properly. If you feel you’re having trouble with the technique and need one-on-one guidance, ask for a referral to a women’s health physical therapist.

Some women even undergo vaginal rejuvenation: surgical or laser procedures meant to tight the vaginal walls and possibly make the opening of the vagina smaller. Proponents claim the procedure can enhance sensitivity and sexual satisfaction for both the woman and her partner. However, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists doesn’t back these surgeries and has challenged claims about their benefits. There isn’t enough data yet to determine whether vaginal cosmetic surgeries are safe and effective. Plus they cost thousands of dollars and put you at risk of infection. That’s why I recommend going the less invasive (and less expensive) routes.

 

Having More Sex Can Boost Your Career, Says Science

New research suggests a healthy sex life could lead to better engagement at work.

In case you need an extra excuse to get busy tonight, new research from Oregon State University suggests an active sex life at home many actually improve your satisfaction and engagement at work.

The study, which was published in the Journal of Management, included 159 married employees. Each day for two weeks, the participants completed surveys about their sex habits and mood.

After analyzing the responses, researchers found that when people had sex with their partners, they reported better moods the next day, and as a result, were more likely to enjoy and immerse themselves in their tasks. “We make jokes about people having a ‘spring in their step,’ but it turns out this is actually a real thing and we should pay attention to it,” said lead researcher Keith Leavitt, an associate professor at OSU’s College of Business, in a press release.

The study also revealed that on the flip side, bringing work stress home can have a negative impact on a person’s sex-life. The effect was true for both men and women, even after researchers controlled for marriage satisfaction and quality of sleep.

The notion that getting lucky at night can lead to a better tomorrow isn’t terribly surprising, because we know sex is a great mood booster (thanks, dopamine!). But more research is needed on how your time between the sheets affects your time behind your desk.

Leavitt is optimistic the new findings will have a positive impact on the way we value a healthy sex life. “This is a reminder that sex has social, emotional, and physiological benefits, and it’s important to make it a priority,” he said. “Making a more intentional effort to maintain a healthy sex life should be considered an issue of human sustainability, and as a result, a potential career advantage.”

In fact, he hopes employers will take note and do their part to create better work-life balance. But until our bosses start implementing sex breaks (like one town in Sweden is considering), it certainly can’t hurt to test out Leavitt’s advice on your own time. You know, in the name of work productivity.

How to Stop Messing Up Your Love Life

Marriage Boot Camp: Reality Stars’ Dr Ish Major drops some gems.

On WeTV’s Marriage Boot Camp: Reality Stars, 5 famous couples fight to save their broken relationships. This season, the love gurus on tap are therapists Dr. Venus Nicolino and Dr. Ish Major. Dr. Ish who is a board certified psychiatrist who specializes in women, children, families and relationships.

After taking on these hardcore couples, I figured that imparting advice to our beautiful readers would be a piece of cake. As you prepare for Friday’s season finale, read on for Dr. Ish’s take on how to learn to fight fair, how to stop messing up your relationships and whether he feels that black women need to settle.

A healthy relationship means doesn’t mean that you never ever fight. What are the rules of engagement for healthy fighting?

A lot of couples never talk about issues that matter because they’re scared it might cause a fight. That only leads to resentment and neither one of you being happy long term. We all fight. It’s going to happen. But if you know how to fight fair you don’t have to be scared to have one. At Marriage Boot Camp we teach five simple rules for fighting fair; we call them The Rules of Engagement.

Okay, break it down.

Rule number one, Same Team. remember that you’re both on the same team. Attack the issue and not each other. The fight is out there; not in here between us. Rule number two is One Play. When most of us fight we bring up everything and every hurt that our partner ever caused us and nothing, not even what we’re currently fighting about, ever gets resolved. Stay on topic and agree to argue only about the one thing at a time. The third rule is Play Hurt. Stay in the game. Don’t shut down. Never run away from the fight even when it hurts. Don’t rob your partner of the chance to be heard. Stay in the fight and finish it together. Rule number 4 is LUV, which stands for Listen, Understand and Validate.

The last one is Spike the Ball.

Okay, I don’t know sports, so how do we “spike the ball.”

When you make it through a fight and successfully resolve the issue remember to celebrate! Spike the ball! Go out to dinner. Go see a movie. Have ice cream. Have make-up sex. Do something to commemorate the fact that you made it through an argument and came out on the other side…together! If you can practice these rules of engagement together you never have to be afraid of tackling the tough issues or being scared to have a fight because you’ll know that you can get through it…together!

LUV meaning Listen, Understand and Validate is also a major key.

On Marriage Boot Camp, “LUV – Listen. Understand. Validate” is Keke and Michael’s favorite. (smiles) Listen: Stop and really pay attention to what your partner is saying; don’t just wait until it’s your turn to talk. Understand: Try to understand things from their point of view. This is about having empathy and being able to put yourself in their shoes. It shows that you actually hear what they’re saying. A good technique here is to mirror back to them what they just said. Say, ‘What I heard you say was…’.

That’s always a powerful communication technique.

And then Validate. It’s not enough just to understand. Your partner’s point of view needs to be validated. This doesn’t mean you agree with them, it just means you understand why they feel the way they do. A great technique here is to say, ‘I can see why you would think that…’ and then clarify what you really meant to communicate.

Real talk. We have lots of intra-community issues and challenges between black men and black women. There’s very much a blame and shame gender exchange currently happening. How can we do relationships better?

Yup, real talk this has always been and continues to be one of our biggest problems when it comes to relationships. As black men and black women we all wear a mask. To school. To work. To wherever. And when we finally come home and take our masks off…oftentimes we get attacked again. How great would it be that when we finally take our mask off that we’re not only seen for who we truly are…but are actually loved for it.

Here’s what we can’t do. We can’t look to someone else to validate who we are. We can’t look to control someone else to make them do exactly what we want in a relationship. You can’t immediately tear someone down the second they make you feel less than who you think you are. There’s only one thing you can control in any relationship; yourself. It is impossible, I repeat, impossible to operate from a place of love and build your partner up if you don’t have a strong foundation of love for yourself to stand on. Love yourself first; then the love you have to give to someone else will naturally take care of itself. Do your relationship with yourself better and all of your other relationships will naturally fall in line.

Black women are often taught some version of “settle or die alone” when it comes to love advice. What do you want black women to know about love, dating and relationships?

I’ve heard that my whole life. What a horrible lesson to force on yourself. My advice to all of you is the same advice I give to my very own sisters; every time you settle you lose a little piece of yourself. You practice that enough, it’s a pattern. You keep going and keep settling, you die. Or at least that beautiful vibrant spirit that makes you uniquely you dies because you’re refusing to allow it what it’s dying to have; love. There’s no such thing as ‘halfway happy’. Either you want him or you don’t. Either you love all of him or you don’t. Either you have him completely or you don’t have him at all.

A piece of a man is not better than none at all! Period. It’s simple but we make it hard. You can’t let the fear of ending up alone make you continuously settle for someone or those someones who always seem to not make you happy anyway. That makes you hurt. That makes you resentful. That makes you angry. That makes you bitter. Which just feeds into the typical stereotype of all black women that you and I both know just ain’t true.

Here’s the truth. Whether you have someone sitting beside you helping you feel this way or not; it still makes you feel alone. So why not step out and claim what you want. Speak it! Say it! Set the expectation and refuse to allow yourself to backslide and settle for anything less. I guarantee you’ll see an immediate change in the type of men who you attract and a huge difference in the intentions that they’ll have towards you! The attitude is this; trifling men need not apply; next!

Well said! Dr. Ish, how can readers find you, your show and your work?

I’m super easy to find. Marriage Boot Camp Reality Stars is on WeTV every Friday night at 9pm! I’m also always on Twitter @DrIshMajor and of course you can reach me directly on my website DrIshMajor.com where you can find my books and brand new coaching program on relationships!

Congrats on the show! Please tell us about Marriage Bootcamp: Reality Stars.

Wow, I can truly say that Marriage Boot Camp is at the same time one of the most challenging and one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done! We take five couples with big personalities and even bigger issues and put them all in house together. That’s either a recipe for an epic fail or an epic success! But I believe in the program we run in the Boot Camp house and I believe in the skill set Dr. V, Judge Lynn Toler and I are bringing to the table so if I was to lay odds…I’m betting we can help them and I’m always going to bet on the House to win!

I’ve watched a couple of episodes and it’s a pretty volatile group. What are some of the relationship issues among your current cast?

VOLATILE? Yeah, in all caps! That doesn’t even begin to describe this group! Even though they’re reality stars they still struggle with the same issues that affect a lot of us. Margeaux and Merika are interesting because they’re our first same sex couple and they have a huge problem; and his name is Nikko! It’s a threesome of the worst sort and nobody’s happy there. Our Mob wife Karen and Storm are stuck in a constant power struggle for respect and the disrespect they show each other really makes you wonder why they’re together? Amber, our jersey housewife, and Jim both have huge hurts that caused them to shut down emotionally and of the emotions that are left, anger dominates. Jade and Tanner’s problem is that they got married in paradise before they ever really got to know each other and now that paradise is lost. They’re a brand new couple and are having a huge problem just learning to like the stuff they’re still finding out about each other. And our R&B diva Keke and Michael…I don’t even know where to start. Keke is exquisitely sensitive to any perceived criticism or slight and then she just explodes. Then she explodes some more! Then she explodes again…and again. You get the picture. It’s a good thing there are two Boot Camp Directors because Dr. V and I have had our hands full with this cast of characters!

4 Expert Approved Ways To Get Out Of A Bad Date (That Don’t Involve A Fake Call From A Friend)

On a painful date and need to bail? We’ve got you. Behold, expert-approved tips that will help you get out with your dignity in tact.

We’ve all been there: you’re on a date with a guy you met through a mutual friend. He’s easy on the eyes, has a great job and definitely checks off things on your list. But he was late to your date, only talks about himself and managed to do all the things wrong to make a good first impression. You want so desparately to get up from the table and never look back but you’re not sure what to do? We asked ESSENCE columnists, The Matchmaking DUO, on 4 ways to end things early when the chemistry just isn’t there.

Come Clean

‘We feel you can always find something good to say about anyone; whether he has an amazing smile, great shoes, or he was responsive up to the date and punctual the day of,” says the Matchmaking DUO. “So lead with that and then let him know, ‘but I’ve realized we are not a good fit for each other.’ If you want to elaborate briefly on why you feel that way, great but the goal is to keep it short and sweet and move on to the place where you can wish him well.”

Check Please

“The next time the waiter or waitress comes over you can ask for the check. Let him know you have to go but we would say leave money for at least what you ordered. That way if you already know you’ll never see him again in a million years, there are no regrets on either side and you can move on free and clear.”

Start Talking Futuristically And Become Clingy

“You won’t have to end the date early he will! There is noting worse than overindulging too early. Men will quickly ask for the check!”

Beyoncé’s Dance Captain Ashley Everett Shares Wedding Plans and Why Her Bond With Bey Is So Special

The bride-to-be speaks candidly about how she and fellow dancer John Silver really got together, when she plans to tie the knot and why Beyoncé’s support means the world.

When Beyoncé’s lead dance captain Ashley Everett got engaged during an epic on stage surprise proposal on the St. Louis stop of The Formation World Tour in September, the world watched along and swooned. The video, of course, went viral and since then fans have been obsessed with Everett and fiancé, fellow professional dancer and choreographer John Silver, and all about their love.

So how do two dope dancers fall in love on the job? With a lot of chemistry and a little help from their mutual friend, Ne-Yo.

“We met working with Ne-Yo together, who is like one of our good friends now, Everett recalled. They couple had three jobs together and the magic happened during one of their video shoots.

“I remember there was a moment in rehearsal that everybody talks about, where we were like dancing together and it was like a freestyle section and then they cut the music off,” said Everett. “They like faded it out and everyone else stopped but we were still going. And everybody was looking at us like, mmhmm…told ya’ll.”

A few months, later Ne-Yo invited her to Miami out of the blue. At the time, Everett had no clue that he was helping Silver make a move, but it all went according to his big plan.

“Basically I find out that John asked him to bring me,” she recalls. “Cause they were going for John’s birthday. They were going to celebrate John’s birthday.”

When the host asked if Ne-Yo will sing for them on their big day, Everett said “probably so.”

Fans will recall that Beyoncé played a major part in helping Silver pull of the surprise proposal, including adding Single Ladies back to the set to help set off the big moment. For Everett, having her good friend Bey in on the action, made it all the more memorable.

“It’s really amazing because it’s like full circle,” she said. “I started with [Beyoncé] so young, at 17. She’s like watched me grow up and I watched her grow to be married and a mo, and, you know, a wife and everything. So we’re just growing up together. It’s really special. It’s really special that she helped with it too. She could have been like, no, not my stage, not my dime.”

Aww! To hear more about the soon-to-be Silvers’ wedding plans and whether or not they plan to have the Carters by their side, listen to the full episode above, which also features real talk with extraordinary actress Niecy Nash. Yes, girl!